O 成长

上周在电视里无意中看了一个电影<An Education>,然后在Kindle上买了Lynn Barber的原著。很喜欢。

豆瓣上的文艺青年们写的不少影评都很好,比如珍爱生命远离大叔之类的。而我真心觉得这孩子对大叔没啥真感情,不过大叔能带给她在那个年纪想要的一切东西,很大的比重是“虚荣心”。那种对男人的掌控力,我必须承认是超级吸引的,虽然总有一天终成浮云。脑海里飘过许多浮云……

原著中,Lynn这样写:On the evening I finished sitting my A-levels, Simon took me out to dinner and proposed. I had wanted him to propose, as proof of my power, but I had absolutely no intention of accepting because of course I was going to Oxford.

即使如此,该大叔确实太不堪了,原著比电影更甚,最后因为开空头支票,骗钱偷东西坐牢了。出狱后还到牛津去找她,当然,我对于人的无耻程度有相当深的认识。如果人一辈子总要被骗一次,那么我真心认为,一个人越早被骗越好,越迟被骗损失越大。An Education那一章的结尾总结的非常精彩,简单清晰,忍不住全部引用。

What did I get from Simon? An education – the thing my parents always wanted me to have. I learned a lot in my two years with Simon. I learned about expensive restaurants and luxury hotels and foreign travel, I learned about antiques and Bergman films and classical music. All this was useful when I went to Oxford – I could read a menu, I could recognise a finger bowl, I could follow an opera, I was not a complete hick. But actually there was a much bigger bonus than that.  My experience with Simon entirely cured my craving for sophistication. By the time I got to Oxford I wanted nothing more than to meet kind, decent, conventional boys my own age, no matter if they were gauche or virgins, I would marry one eventually and stay married all my life and for that, I suppose, I have Simon to thank.

But there were other lessons Simon taught me that I regret learning. I learned not to trust people; I learned not to believe what they say but to watch what they do; I learned to suspect that anyone and everyone is capable of ‘living a Iie’.  I came to believe that other people – even when you think you know them well ~ are ultimately unknowable.  Learning all this was a good basis for my subsequent career as an interviewer, but not, I think, for life. It made me too wary, too cautious, too ungiving. I was damaged by my education.

The following sentences are written for me.  “The Simon debacle had dealt a huge blow to my confidence. I had felt I knew everything and now realised I knew nothing.”

Lynn所描写的Post-Simon的大学生活,工作都很精彩,得闲再详述。我喜欢她的不装X。

我深信,跌倒不是结局,是成长的必经之路。

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About Maggie Min

Christian, Senior Financial Advisor @ AIA
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